My Struggle With Balance

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Hey, look what I just found under a pile on my cluttered desk.
I think this thing needs to get stashed in my drawer. It’s adding to the clutter on my desk.

In the digital world my OCD* rules.

I am obsessive about organizing my screens, my client files, and every detail about my website designs, graphic designs and photo editing.

I love my job. I work extremely hard to do my very best. I am all in.
 

In the physical world, I lack balance.

I chronically de-prioritize my physical surroundings and needs.

Balance. I need balance. I will go without food – except coffee, of course. I will go without sleep. Seriously, it’s nuts. Check the time-stamp when I send you an email – it may have been sent between 2am-6am. And that’s not because I got up early.

I code in my dreams. Yup, it’s true. And I have ruined two keyboards in the last year by dropping food or drink on them. Energy drinks? Yup, if the coffee doesn’t do it.

I’m not alone. A couple of years ago I saw an interview. I completely understood as the guy described why he made Soylent (a soy-based, meal-substitute drink). He created it so that he and his coding friends could be healthier than surviving on junk food consumed in front of their computers during extremely long coding sessions. I just opened their home page (1st time). It says, “Coffee People, we’ve got you covered.”  Wow. At least I’m not the only one with this problem.
 

Something’s gotta give.

So… my desk gets cluttered. My family is used to seeing the back of my head while I sit at the computer. A lot. And I get chronic migraines.

I am driven. Can you tell? And way too often I behave as if I’m the back-seat driver in my choices when I am not. Sometimes we need to take a deep breath, look around, then climb up into the driver’s seat.

“My family is used to seeing the back of my head while I sit at the computer. A lot. And I get chronic migraines.”

 

I’m working on it.

I’m trying to improve my imbalance. Unfortunately, it seems to inch its way back in every time. Changing our patterns and priorities is a process.

Is loving my work a problem? Of course not. But I love my family, my life, and my God more.
And something’s gotta give.

What is urgent and what is important? I need to consciously decide. It’s easy to let the urgent – the squeaky wheel – consume me. It steals my moments, my days, and my peace if I let it.

“Is loving my work a problem? Of course not. But I love my family, my life, and my God more.
And something’s gotta give.”

 

Is a cluttered desk a sign of genius?

I don’t think so. For me a cluttered desk is a physical symptom of my imbalance. My best outtake from this self-reflection is that I need to clean house a bit. I need to take charge of my priorities. And if I step away from my cluttered desk more often maybe I will notice how cluttered it has gotten.

Do you struggle with balance?

I would love to hear your feedback, your input – or your story! Please scroll to the bottom of this page to find the comments section and share your thoughts…
 
*OCD = Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Yes, I do have OCD. Clinically. But my main manifestation is the germ type of OCD. Except when it comes to the screen. Then it is details.
 

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Image Credit: PixelsAway / bigstockphoto.com